Sports Life Learning

Being a coach for some odd number of years, the ins and outs of my softball world are on my mind a lot throughout the day.  Today my thoughts were one of the underlying perks of youth sports.  As a coach, I stress that we teach our girls to be thoughtful, proud, strong, loyal, classy, tough, play with honor, be humble, trust & how to work as a team.  This is a perk-  While growing into adulthood, they will be faced with adversity, struggle, hard times, deceit, selfishness amongst many other things that arent super fun.  For that matter, im sure they will see these things well before becoming an adult.  We as adults understand or we should, that you cant control what others do, but you do control how you react to it.  So, a comparison came to mind.  In all the midst of teaching/coaching these young ladies the game of softball, I truly hope that this carries throughout their lives.  A softball team is just very similar to a relationship.  You have a dating period, you get a feel for the coaches, the teammates and how the team runs.  If the dating period is to your liking (child & parents) then you commit.  You say, yes I enjoy what is happening here, this team makes me happy, I blend well, I get along with the others, this is great!  At this point, if it were to be a relationship...this would be a 'honeymoon' phase.  Things are moving beautifully, happy all around.  Next stage is where the comfort factor comes in, you are comfortable with everything and tend to settle in, relax, feel secure.  Important thing here...you cannot be so comfortable that you stop working at the relationship.  It is something that needs constant nurturing.  Any successful couple knows, it takes equal work. You learn SACRIFICE, STRENGTH, REASONING, COMPROMISE, UNDERSTANDING, COMMUNICATION. Same on a sports team.  Then comes vultures.  Anyone/Everyone knows, when someone is in a cute little relationship, all of the sudden they become more attractive.  Girls...ever notice if you have a boy...how all the other boys start sniffing around or the girls start smiling bigger or staring longer at your boy?  Who knows why, but others on the outside looking in think, hmm, that looks great...I want that!  I want what they have!  Again, same in sports, there are vultures out there and for whatever reason, they look in and say..hmm I want that girl..she hits hard or she runs fast or shes great on the field...I want that!  They dont so much want the girl, they want the IDEA of the girl or what she can do for them.  Then the committed are tested & sometimes break.  The loyalty is tested & sometimes lost, the honor tested & sometimes thrown away, trust tested & sometimes gone.  Dont get me wrong, there are some that after the honeymoon, just dont feel right, dont fit in, arent happy...at that point, teaching should be how to communicate your feelings & handle things in a mature fashion, where both parties separate amicably.  But there are the vultures, who pick and pick and pick, trying to get a piece of something/someone that is completely happy in their 'relationship'.  The other side of the coin are those that arent taught the mature way and become the seekers...seeking out for greener grass, betraying trust, being deceitful, sneaky.  Searching for that bright shiny new toy. That person/team that will make them all they want to be...a STAR! but all is lost, those are never taught how to handle adversity, talking through a problem or knowing when there is no more work to be done and the situation doesnt fit, but maturely handling it.  they lose out on learning trust, loyalty, honor.  So in short, not really...if you dont find a sports team/coach that teaches these things to our youth, please do so at home.  Teach them how to handle life, teach them how to respect & honor commitments,  how to communicate feelings, how to walk away maturely.  At the end of the day, the lessons learned & how you acted/treated situations is what is left.  Not the shiny new toy.  And if you are happy with your choice, be STRONG, be LOYAL, be COMMITTED and fight the vultures away.  People will remember the type of person you were, long after youre gone.  As a coach, I will be loyal to my team/girls as long as the same is extended to me.  I will trust them until they give me a reason not to.  I will work for them, with them, as long as they do the same for me.  Its a team effort...a relationship doesnt work unless both(all) sides work equal amounts. Find a team, a family, a relationship, be happy, be strong & carry a big fly swatter for the vultures! (a xeno would probably work great!)