Life

I was thinking on how to start my rant of random thoughts, the topic being 'life', so I thought to start with the definition...so funny the first one post entry in google defines it as "a sexually transmitted, terminal disease".  That made me laugh, but its true.  Life is left up to so many different interpretations on its meaning.  One might say to live, is to love freely, be kind, be generous, be all those things that God expects us to be, which is great, but instead of having the expectations of how we are suppose to live, there might be better use for a book on what NOT to do & the fact that you cannot, no matter how fast/far/often you run...you cannot run away from life.  Of course, short pauses here and there to get a breath, have a break, seemingly forget your tragic, stressful, unfair LIFE if for only a few moments or couple of days.  News flash though, guess what waits for you after youve caught your breath? Guess whats been resting as well and will come back at you even harder?  Guess whats been compromised in your breif pause? It simply does not go away, the choices you make in your journey are whats caused you to believe that you need a break from what you feel you cant handle, but who did it??? YOUR CHOICES. YOU.  So we run away, make more poor choices, act in selfish ways, act as if we are a entity all alone in a world and we exist to no one. Fear makes you run, fear of the unknown but also cowardice, there is a difference...courage helps you fight, it takes no courage to run away.  Selfishness, its one thing if you are a single person, no living relatives, independent....to run off and escape, it is an entirely different thing to do that when you have a multitude of obligations and responsibilities, children, parents, extended family...thats just plain selfish.  We all have our crosses to bear, God will never give us more than we can handle and at times, we truly dont believe that statement because its almost more than we can manage.  Im not saying that as humans, we dont need someone to slow the merry go round down a bit so we can catch our footing, im saying that if youre that kid that wants the merry go round to be paused every two minutes...well, youre going to get your ass whooped by some other kids, LIFE (merry go round) is fast, furious, nauseating at times, breathtaking at times, exciting...its so many things, also inevitable! I often wonder if im odd in the way ive lived my life...i have always been stubborn, headstrong, determined & have no filter...once i became a mother at the age of 20, that is what defined me.  I gave everything i had to give & continue to do that.  My fire, my reasoning, my strength, my protection, my caring, love, devotion....everything that makes me who i am as a person...i pour into my kids, as it should be.  I have never backed down from anything, much less from troubles in life...i have met them head on and won! IM WINNING.  My priorities are in check, our God, my family, our lives..the rest will come, with those in check, there is no way to go wrong.  But if you leave any of those out or you put yourself above any, it will crack..MY OPINION.  I cannot even remember the last time i did something...anything....that was strictly for me, oh yea i do, it was when i was a selfish, self absorbed, irresponsible teenager....enjoy those times kids, because when you become an adult, you start adding to your responsibilities...get a husband, add to your life...have babies, new definition of yourself & your life becomes theirs.  To add to the fact that i dont remember my last selfish act...i also have not one desire to have one...every breath i take, every decision i make, every choice i make, comes from considering my priorities, my God, my family, our lives....there is no room in my life for the idea "if youre not swimming in lake me, you dont exist".  Some will not agree, ohhhh you need a little 'me' time....ok, well maybe YOU do, but i DONT.  I had me time...from the age of 0-20...that was enough.  Again, everything in this note is MY opinion, agree with it or not, makes no difference either way to my thoughts.

Sports Life Learning

Being a coach for some odd number of years, the ins and outs of my softball world are on my mind a lot throughout the day.  Today my thoughts were one of the underlying perks of youth sports.  As a coach, I stress that we teach our girls to be thoughtful, proud, strong, loyal, classy, tough, play with honor, be humble, trust & how to work as a team.  This is a perk-  While growing into adulthood, they will be faced with adversity, struggle, hard times, deceit, selfishness amongst many other things that arent super fun.  For that matter, im sure they will see these things well before becoming an adult.  We as adults understand or we should, that you cant control what others do, but you do control how you react to it.  So, a comparison came to mind.  In all the midst of teaching/coaching these young ladies the game of softball, I truly hope that this carries throughout their lives.  A softball team is just very similar to a relationship.  You have a dating period, you get a feel for the coaches, the teammates and how the team runs.  If the dating period is to your liking (child & parents) then you commit.  You say, yes I enjoy what is happening here, this team makes me happy, I blend well, I get along with the others, this is great!  At this point, if it were to be a relationship...this would be a 'honeymoon' phase.  Things are moving beautifully, happy all around.  Next stage is where the comfort factor comes in, you are comfortable with everything and tend to settle in, relax, feel secure.  Important thing here...you cannot be so comfortable that you stop working at the relationship.  It is something that needs constant nurturing.  Any successful couple knows, it takes equal work. You learn SACRIFICE, STRENGTH, REASONING, COMPROMISE, UNDERSTANDING, COMMUNICATION. Same on a sports team.  Then comes vultures.  Anyone/Everyone knows, when someone is in a cute little relationship, all of the sudden they become more attractive.  Girls...ever notice if you have a boy...how all the other boys start sniffing around or the girls start smiling bigger or staring longer at your boy?  Who knows why, but others on the outside looking in think, hmm, that looks great...I want that!  I want what they have!  Again, same in sports, there are vultures out there and for whatever reason, they look in and say..hmm I want that girl..she hits hard or she runs fast or shes great on the field...I want that!  They dont so much want the girl, they want the IDEA of the girl or what she can do for them.  Then the committed are tested & sometimes break.  The loyalty is tested & sometimes lost, the honor tested & sometimes thrown away, trust tested & sometimes gone.  Dont get me wrong, there are some that after the honeymoon, just dont feel right, dont fit in, arent happy...at that point, teaching should be how to communicate your feelings & handle things in a mature fashion, where both parties separate amicably.  But there are the vultures, who pick and pick and pick, trying to get a piece of something/someone that is completely happy in their 'relationship'.  The other side of the coin are those that arent taught the mature way and become the seekers...seeking out for greener grass, betraying trust, being deceitful, sneaky.  Searching for that bright shiny new toy. That person/team that will make them all they want to be...a STAR! but all is lost, those are never taught how to handle adversity, talking through a problem or knowing when there is no more work to be done and the situation doesnt fit, but maturely handling it.  they lose out on learning trust, loyalty, honor.  So in short, not really...if you dont find a sports team/coach that teaches these things to our youth, please do so at home.  Teach them how to handle life, teach them how to respect & honor commitments,  how to communicate feelings, how to walk away maturely.  At the end of the day, the lessons learned & how you acted/treated situations is what is left.  Not the shiny new toy.  And if you are happy with your choice, be STRONG, be LOYAL, be COMMITTED and fight the vultures away.  People will remember the type of person you were, long after youre gone.  As a coach, I will be loyal to my team/girls as long as the same is extended to me.  I will trust them until they give me a reason not to.  I will work for them, with them, as long as they do the same for me.  Its a team effort...a relationship doesnt work unless both(all) sides work equal amounts. Find a team, a family, a relationship, be happy, be strong & carry a big fly swatter for the vultures! (a xeno would probably work great!)