Something I have always struggled with-jealousy. As a child, jealous of the kids with the name brand clothes, the big houses, the disney vacations or vacations in general, being able to have dinner out all the time, having a car at 16, getting the nails done, the hair did...you get the point. Not until you are away from home raising your kids do you start to realize the quote INSTEAD OF BEING UPSET WITH WHAT YOU DONT HAVE, FOCUS ON BEING HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU DO HAVE, holds so much truth. I look back now and i can say, what i wore didnt matter, my house was homey & cozy, instead of meeting an irrelevant disney princess, i learned to paint a wicked design on rocks we found along our walks, i could make awesome mud pies & learned to dodge chinese throwing stars (thrown by my brother) by hiding behind bales of hay, i learned to love the crap out of spam & snow capped hotdogs!, I learned to milk a goat!, to ride a horse, to shoot. i learned how to be creative with my own nail polish & i went to school to learn to do the hair do's! My mother did her best as a single mother & despite what I thought at the time that I was mistreated, I SURVIVED! My mother did more for me (without even trying) than any disney vacation ever could. By not having a car on my 16th birthday, instead borrowing hers IF I behaved and working towards buying my own, taught me to appreciate things. Starting out a young couple, we struggled, we drove crap cars, but they got us where we needed to go, we lived in what we could afford, not our dream house, but it was a roof. we ate spam, hamburger helper, ramen and we lived...we started our family and they lived, thrived. They never had nikes before they could walk, eddie bauer car seats, outfits from the childrens place. Our vacations consisted of making it to grammas lake during the summer, but they loved it.
So now as we have two of our babies out on their own & we see them struggle, just like we did...i hope they hear the quote over and over in their heads. Time wasted on being mad with what you don’t have, takes away all the joy you can find with what you do have. To my girls, you have a roof, food, water, vehicles, healthy children. husbands who love you....when there are homeless families, starving children, sick families, abused wives with no hope. I would love nothing more than to be able to take away all the things in your life that you consider hardships. i wish I could win the lottery and buy you both houses and the cars of your dreams and that you would be comfortable for the rest of your lives. Ask yourselves this, would it mean anything if you had to trade the things that you DO have for the things you DON’T?
Im not going to lie, I still get jealous as an adult. I get mad that my kids don’t get brand new cars, shopping sprees, cruises, trips to the ocean. I get mad when I see adults getting things I think would be awesome to have...but I step back and think...would I trade one of my blessings for that...nahhh. i have 5 healthy kids, 4 amazing grands, a best friend that makes me laugh and is by my side every day and is the best daddy ever. i have a mother that raised me to value things and be happy, just being.., simply!
As my husband and I are climbing through our 40's, things are easing up, the struggle is not as hard. We are able to have nicer things than we did in our 20s. We are able to be our kids safety net...whether it be in the form of day care, cleaning out a pantry, taking up the slack here and there, but still making sure they know, its not easy, life is not easy...you have to work hard and it doesn’t happen over night, or in a year, maybe not even 5 years! But somehow, even in our darkest of times, we were always taken care of. we were always watched after and always presented with a way of surviving ….a way of fighting to make it. an opportunity to succeed.
I will never be one to brag about anything, I would just as soon no one know that I get new shoes, clothes, cars, house or that my kids get anything new, clothes, electronics, etc because I don’t want anyone feeling jealous of the things we have. I will say it again in closing...Look at your life and be happy with what you have instead of wishing you had more/different things or something that someone else has. Understand that I can say we survived and it WILL get better, might not get easier, but it will get better...the more you let go of jealousy and embrace the way it is...acceptance.
No comments:
Post a Comment